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JOHN BERCOW Member of Parliament (UK)
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Photo: Bercow with something up his arse
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Welcome to the official website of John Bercow MP
A recently-published book describes a politician with a "whining, sniveling voice" who nonetheless has visions of grandeur. Pursuing these visions, he gives galvanizing speeches, after which his "odour was hideous, like a hellish whiff of skunk and offal".
Can this be dear John Bercow, or just somebody Bercow is desperately attempting to emulate?
Step forward Adolf Hitler!
Contact me via Evelyn at:
evelyn-joy@buckingham.tory.org.uk
Breaking Wind
BO Productions proudly presents Blatterbum Bercow! The world's only performing "Flatulist".
This amazing man possesses the rare ability of "singing" from both ends, putting the "art into fart" rock, pop, and classical selections are included in his musical repertoire which, combined with his stunning visual display of...
Candle snuffing, talc blowing, and the incredible.. dart farting, guarantees uncontrollable laughter from his audience.
Children to royalty, barristers to builders, students, mums and dads. His humour crosses all of society.
Quotes:
"Mr. Bercow you are a true Genius. A huge star"..
Howard Stern.
"Farting is the first thing we laugh at in life and probably the only thing we can always laugh at. Bercow will blow you away"..
Kelsey Grammer.
"No one else can follow Bercow"..
Bobcat Goldthwait.
"The Emperor of anal emissions"..
Ali G.
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Meet the Skunk
A. Scientist 244
04-23-2003 06:36 AM ET (US)
After all that intense farting, Bercov's underpants probably constitute a new life form
Ronald Hunt 243
04-23-2003 06:14 AM ET (US)
Why haven't Buckingham deselcted Bercov? He must stink the place out whenever he opens his mouth.
Bride of Bercowstein 242
04-23-2003 05:06 AM ET (US)
If you shook Bercov's head it would probably cause a snow sorm.
Hermione Caldicott 241
04-23-2003 04:54 AM ET (US)
How dare you be so insulting about our John. He is head and shoulders above the rest...It's just a shame that he doesn't use head and shoulders.
Puzzled 240
04-22-2003 08:28 AM ET (US)
We all know that Bercow is a vile little farting machine, but why are we paying so much attention to this insignificant little turd?
Bercow lover 239
04-22-2003 08:15 AM ET (US)
Bercow smells like he arrived by scud missile. That's only his farts, you should smell his breath...
Son of Claw 238
04-21-2003 06:06 PM ET (US)
The next Tory leader should be chosen by a farting contest. The only problem is that Bercow would probably win it.
Bercow's Halitologist 237
04-21-2003 05:59 PM ET (US)
Did anybody else see the programme about the guy who cheated on Who Wants To be a Millionaire. He has his mate cough whenever he said the right answer. If Bercow was in the audience, he could have farted every time the right answer came up. The only drawback would be that half the studio would flee.
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JOHN DELIVERS KEYNOTE SPEECH
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Bercow Talk
Alistair 227
04-21-2003 01:32 PM ET (US)
Jim Davidson has proved to be a person of few scruples, as his fronting the advertising of a dubious car loan/sales firm has demonstrated. I would go further, and add his avowed support for the Conservative Party to the list.
But people like Bercow, Lewis, Duncan, Rosindell and all the rest are no better.
The Conservative Party has, for decades, been dominated increasingly by the lacklustre, the dim and the downright awful.
Baby Burco 226
04-21-2003 01:27 PM ET (US)
But his breath smells worse than his views and his farts combined.
Bride of Bercowstein 225
04-21-2003 01:12 PM ET (US)
John Bercow's farts stink almost as much as his views.
Matt Johnson 224
04-21-2003 11:25 AM ET (US)
I was reading in the Guardian a couple of weeks ago that John Bercow suggested the expulsion of Jim Davidson from the Conservative Party. Jim Davidson told a disgraceful joke about asylum seekers at the Conservative Party conference. This joke left both John Bercow and his wife seriously offended. I think we need to take action against people like Jim Davidson. We simply don't need the support of people like him.
Mr Poo 223
04-15-2003 01:49 PM ET (US)
Burcow can read
http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/ask_doctor/excess_wind.shtml
It might stop him gassing off.
The Claw 222
04-15-2003 01:47 PM ET (US)
Bercow goes to the doctor. Bercow : Doctor, I have a terrible (FARRRT!) problem. I just can't (FFFART!!) stop farting. Doctor: That is an unusual complaint. Take off your clothes and lay, stomach down, on the couch. Bercow does as he is told. The doctor examines him for a minute - Bercow farting all the time this is going on. Doctor: Aha! This should be easy to cure. Excuse me for a moment. The doctor goes over to a closet and pulls out a long pole with a sharp spike at one end. Bercow : (FAART!) Oh my God! (fart..) What are you going to do with (FFFARTT!!) that?! Doctor: I need to open a window.
Baby Burco 221
04-15-2003 01:40 PM ET (US)
Someone should e mail this information to Bercov. Help is finally at hand for this disgustingly vile little creep. Now someone will have to help him sort out his farting problem....
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